the end

I cannot believe that I am leaving to go to the Nairobi airport. Part of me is ready to be home, but most of me is dreading it. I have learned an incredible amount on this trip and I truly believe that I am coming home with a new perspective. It has been such a blessing to be able to go on this trip with a bunch of social workers because I have been processing with others and journaling like I never have before. Although I am hopeful that I am coming home and really making a lifestyle change, I know it will not be easy. I forsee myself getting frustrated with people who are being materialistic and have no awareness of what is going on in the world, because that is something I already struggle with. Pray that I will see them as Jesus does, with love, compassion, and no air of arrogance.

I would love to share more of what has gone on personally in my heart and what I have experienced here, I just hate that I have not been given as much internet access as I thought, so I literally don't have enough time to go in depth. I promise I will share when I get home if anyone still cares to read. I love you all very much and cannot thank you enough for your thoughts and prayers. I haven't been feeling sick since Sunday so all is well! Much love!

My word, I thought I would be able to update a lot more than I have on this trip, but it's honestly not my fault! We didn't have internet access while we were in Kitale like we thought, so that's why. I'll try to update you as much as I can even though I don't have my journal on hand or anything.

We arrived (after a 6 hour delay) in Nairobi yesterday evening, so we were in Kitale for four days. Kitale is like another world from Nairobi, very rural and undeveloped as opposed to the bustling city of Nairobi. I was really excited about this part of the trip because we were doing a lot of VBS type stuff with different orphanges and kinship care based programs. The day we arrived we just got a tour of the place we were staying, the Love Mercy house, and went to Seed of Hope, an orphanage trying to transition into having more of a focus out of institutions into kinship care (living with extended family) and foster care. Both are very beautiful ministries.

Unfortunately though, my time in Kitale was really disappointing because I couldn't participate in anything because I got sick.The one place I was able to visit was the Reynolds Center, a pre-k/k school for the kids in one of the poor slum areas in the countryside...and the kids were absolutely ADORABLE. They didn't speak much English but they sang three songs for us and it was one of the cutest things I have ever seen in my life! It was really hard for me though because there was already a huge language barrier, plus the whole day was like a slow motion fog for me...I felt at my worst.I had a sore throat since Nairobi, but as the days went on it got worse and worse, and I woke up feeling weak, fevered, headache, sore throat, body ache, and chilled that morning.

The next day I was taken to the clinic at Seed of Hope (along with another girl, Elise, who started to not feel good as well) and we tested positive for malaria. So I stayed in the Love Mercy house all day on Saturday and Sunday trying to rest and re-cooperate.Because I was feeling so terrible and just negative in general, I didn't really think about just how much I was missing out on until I heard all of the stories my team had of all the kids they got to do crafts with, dance with, and play games with. I was stupid, but I was crying selfish tears because I wanted to experience that so badly, but in the grand scheme of things my presence clearly wasn't that crucial.

On the bright side though, that time spent alone, particularly on Sunday when I started to feel better, I spent all day journaling out my thoughts on the trip/life in general, so it was a really beautiful moment for me. So in a way, I am very thankful for the time getting sick gave me to really sit and think about things that I wouldn't have otherwise.

I woke up this morning (Tuesday) feeling like a different person. My throat is still sore and I still have a headache, but I have definitely felt "myself" more than any other day on the trip. Today we visited Daystar University and got a tour of campus and was able to see what college is like in another culture. I really enjoyed seeing the campus, which was absolutely beautiful, and meeting some of the students and hearing their stories. The visit made me want to study abroad so badly! They have a social work and community development program, and it was really interesting to see how faith-based social workers work in another culture. Our team leader, Jon, is looking to try and build a partnership with them.So that would be incredible if that fell through!

I was expecting these updates to be

a. more frequent.

b. more detailed. (but not novel-length or anything)

so I'm really sorry that I'm having to keep everything general since I don't have much time to sit in front of a computer. But tomorrow we are headed to one of the biggest slums in Africa, Kibera, and the next day we are leaving for safari. I really can't believe that the trip is pretty much over. I have learned so much, but at the same time I feel like I haven't really done anything. But that's probably because so much time is spent traveling, plus I was sick. I just really hate that and feel like I need to be here for longer. But I better go, and I thank you so much for your prayers! Much love!

FINALLY!

Well, sorry it has been so long since I last wrote...but let's just say it has been an adventure FINALLY getting to Nairobi.

After sitting on a hot, un-air conditioned plane for 3 hours, we found out our flight out of Houston (that was supposed to leave at 4:20)was cancelled on Sunday because of the volcano ash. We finally got to the hotel around 10:30, and after waiting 2 hours for dinner at its restaurant, we got a couple hours of sleep before we had to leave again at 6. Once we got to London, we had to spend the night there before leaving again the next day. We stayed at the Sofitel at Heathrow...suuuupppper swanky. A few of us wanted to explore London for the few hours we would be there (we arrived around midnight and had to be ready to leave at 8), but we found out that it would have been a little expensive and not with our time to take the tube out to the city. Sad day. But since we still felt like being adventerous, a few of us walked around outside the hotel...which essentially was all of the roads around the terminals at Heathrow. We looked pretty lame.

Even though the common theme of the past couple days has been waiting, it has been really neat to see how patient our team has been, all things considering. Mind you, we have been frustrated, but everyone has kept a positive attitude. We arrived to the Gracia House in Nairobi last night around 10 (it's around 8am Wednesday morning as I'm writing this) to 20 or so people hugging and greeting us. It was really touching to see such genuine hospitality, and it finally started to sink in that I am FINALLY in Africa. Gahhhh it's still so surreal to me now, but I am so excited to get the day started so I can get in a routine and really fulfill my purpose here. Today we're headed to some orphanage (maybe?haha) to do a VBS, and I am so pumped to finally be with kids and experience the culture. Tomorrow we will take a flight to Kitale and we'll stay there a couple days.

Sorry this is scattered yet again, but I should have more time to write later tonight. Love you all!

Preparation (Or lack thereof)

In about 12 hours, I will be heading to the airport to go on one of the greatest adventures of my life- a two week mission trip to Kenya.

If you know me well at all, you know that I

1.) Have ALWAYS wanted to travel to Africa. Ever since I was little, it has been on my heart and I have been searching for the perfect opportunity to jump onto...and I found it! (a mission trip, through Baylor, through the School of Social Work, focused on kids. Cannot get much better!!!)

2.) I am not one to stress out. At all. I think I do a pretty good job at keeping real problems into perspective, so I find no use in stressing out over things not under my control.

Yet, those two things are very combined right now. Although it sounds weird and a little crazy, I know Satan is trying to take advantage of this situation right now. Since coming home from school on Tuesday, all I have been doing is running around like crazy running errands, making appointments, unpacking, repacking, and organizing to get ready for this trip. I haven't had a moment to just stop until now, and boy do I need it.

I feel as though I have not made any time to mentally and spiritually prepare for this mission trip. I may not being doing things as intense as street evangelism on this trip, but I know that my mindset isn't in the right place and that worries me. But I know that God will provide for me if I let Him work on my mind and my heart.

I often feel that my heart and compassion are too big for my abilities-I don't know how to apply and make a meaningful and feasible difference in the world. I am passionate about the impoverished, the marginalized, the homeless, people in pain, children, conserving my environmental resources, and have the desire to fit sharing the love of Jesus into that. Since after all, He is also passionate about all of those things. (I'm going to try and not go off into a tangent about how Christians need to be more aware of those things because that's a whoollleee nother post...haha)

But honestly, that has been an internal struggle of mine in trying to figure out what the heck God wants me to do in my life. It's a confidence issue that truly scares me, but I know that this trip is going to be a big step in further figuring out how to apply my passions into a "career". I know I'm supposed to do some sort of "ministry", however the heck you want to define that, and I know actually traveling to Africa like I have always felt like I needed to will give me a taste to see if this is the kind of thing I want to pursue.

For those reading this (if there are any besides my best friend and my parents, haha)here are goals I have for the trip that definitely need praying for!

-Pray that I let go and let God truly transform every part of my life and challenge me. Whew, that's scary reading that back to myself, but that is what needs to happen. I have grown SO much with Him this semester and I feel like this trip is going to be a huge milestone if I let it.

-Pray that I gain confidence in myself to use my God given abilities of loving people. My insecurity still plagues me and I sometimes hold back from being the outgoing person God made me.

Sorry for the scattered-ness of my first post, but I guess it's a good look at what my brain has been like this week? haha.

I do know that God is going to do some incredible things on this trip, and I can't wait to see how that will happen.

:]